How can I introduce my son to his father. read on please?
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My husband & I have an 11 month old son. When our son was about 2 months old we moved and my husband’s job dominated his time. When he was 3 months old my husband went to training and then spent another 6 months over seas. (We are military.) My husband recently joined us in early December. He’s been on leave and we have been working on unpacking from the move, preparing to sell our old house, and traveling for the holidays. I have been the primary caregiver this entire time. Now I am trying to get my husband involved and understand that it’s not about just the 2 of us, now we have our son to think about. What can I do to re-introduce the 2 of them and let them bond? What makes the situation even worse is that Christmas I fractured my ankle and my husband is taking care of me when he gets home. He feels he has no “down time.”
Is there anything I can do for them? My son wants me ALL the time and my husband is jealous of this. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!
Me leaving is not exactly an option. I can leave the room, but I can’t drive at the moment because I have a boot on my right ankle. I had surgery after I broke it on Christmas. Also I don’t know anyone in this area.
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My husband & I have an 11 month old son. When our son was about 2 months old we moved and my husband’s job dominated his time. When he was 3 months old my husband went to training and then spent another 6 months over seas. (We are military.) My husband recently joined us in early December. He’s been on leave and we have been working on unpacking from the move, preparing to sell our old house, and traveling for the holidays. I have been the primary caregiver this entire time. Now I am trying to get my husband involved and understand that it’s not about just the 2 of us, now we have our son to think about. What can I do to re-introduce the 2 of them and let them bond? What makes the situation even worse is that Christmas I fractured my ankle and my husband is taking care of me when he gets home. He feels he has no “down time.”
Is there anything I can do for them? My son wants me ALL the time and my husband is jealous of this. Any help would be appreciated! Thanks!
Me leaving is not exactly an option. I can leave the room, but I can’t drive at the moment because I have a boot on my right ankle. I had surgery after I broke it on Christmas. Also I don’t know anyone in this area.
Things are really screwy right now with the new move.
The problem is our son was 2 months old when he left and now he is 11 months old and crawling, standing, trying to walk, and so on. He’s missed out on so much and now he’s got almost an instant toddler. He’s upset and pissed off at himself for not being able to be here with his first child.
It’s really hard with everything. 
February 2nd, 2009 at 6:25 pm
it would probably help the situation if you weren’t there not being mean but go out or something leave the baby with him they’ll be bonded in no time!!!!!!
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Take it easy and slow and let him change him and feed him and bath him he will soon get the pic that he is also there for him to.
February 4th, 2009 at 8:54 am
That’s too bad. Your husband sounds a little immature. He needs to step up and realize that being a parent, a father, means that there is no “down time” anymore. He needs to understand that baby’s needs come first, since baby can’t take care of himself and that Dad can.
Leave the baby alone with Dad more and more. Go out shopping for a few hours or visit a friend and leave your son home with your husband and let him do some parenting. Have your husband take a more active role in bathing him, changing him, feeding him and putting him to sleep at night. This will mean that you, Mom, will have to step back a bit and realize that your husband will not do things “exactly” like you do, or his methods may not be perfect in your eyes, but as long as the child’s safety is not compromised DO NOT criticize him or his methods. This will give him a sense of pride and accomplishment. Criticizing will make him feel as though he’s failing in your eyes an he won’t want to bother at all after that.
Make sure that you both get a little down time atleast once a week.
Good luck!
February 6th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Aww, sweety at least you recognize this. I would suggest that you let him adjust. I know that a lot of people would say just throw him into it and leave or what not. After someone is deployed coming back is tough, that is your house you have your way of doing things. Think about it you are used to being on your own with your son, and tending to everything. He wants to come home and have it his way too. Adding a baby into that is really hard, he lost so much time with him and feels bad for it. My advice is to be the primary care giver as far as baths and daily activities go, but when you get some down time, invite your husband to come and sit on the floor and help try and teach your son how to walk, clap, wave, blow kisses ect. Really just enjoy the wonder of what the 2 of you created. Eventually when you are sitting there and you have to get up to do something, he will have to tend to the baby. He will bond with him. Don’t worry it is a time of adjustment for you and your husband, your son will get through it as long as you both do your part. Good luck and congrats on the baby and your husband coming home!